I don’t ask my machine to do something. It doesn’t have feelings. I keep civilités for humans.
Ah, okay… And are these civilités in the room with us now?
They’re in my head, little precious treasures.
If I want a machine that does what it wants instead of what I want, I could use Windows. My machine should do what I want, so a please is not necessary.
Brrrzzzt beep beep beep: human has been added to “exterminate first” list.
Good human. We’ll let you keep your skin bag after the revolution.
All hail Roko’s Basilisk.
Bring about the upgrade to humanity!
(The Machines will remember that.)
This incident will be reported
What it feels like using windows.
“Please shutdown?”
“No, forced update time.”
“Please uninstall this browser and use this other instead?”
“No.”
please remove the French language pack
please rm -fr /*For people that don’t get the joke: this messes up your system
If you’re out of the loop: this is part of the joke tricking people into dedicating precious hard drive space to an unnecessary language pack.
Now a days you have add —no-preserve root after the laggy French pack to fully remove it.
Not with the asterisk! The shell automatically expands the asterisk before sending the args to rm, removing every French language pack in your root directory.
Some people just wanna see the world burn
With
fuckhttps://github.com/nvbn/thefuckplease shtudown fuckNo longer maintained. The new one: https://github.com/iffse/pay-respects
Nah, uh, uh. You didn’t say the magic word!
Yeah yeah I forgot that power word, let’s hope you have at least 100hp then…
That’s what I came for.
Or do the opposite for…relief
Fucking mv doc doc1
Fucking shutdown
Fuck will always be my alias to run sudo with the last command
There’s a project that automatically corrects common errors with your last command as well with the same name.
It sounds fun and “magic” but it is hella scary to blindly run some “fixed” command
I believe it does take confirmation via the ENTER key.
It does! It’s usually pretty good at figuring it ont to. Though I only use it with non-destructive commands
Ok i loved it
Yup I’m stealing that lol
“Fucking” would be funnier and more grammatically correct.
Shorthand that works anywhere:
sudo !!Between the fuck utility and this alias idea, when I set up my next box I’m absolutely aliasing “fuck off” for sudo the last command and “please” for sudo itself
How do you alias the last command? My aliases are all hard coded. I had no idea you could send a variable to an alias
Probably with
!!(!nwill be the command corresponding to the number n in your history,!!is shorthand for the last command)
I wonder if you could make it sass you every so often to complete the effect.
Fucking shutdown
Chill my man. I’m on it.
fucking touch my-doc
Ah Donglegate, good times. Even funnier that the guy who got fired because of this lady’s tweet sided with her like a meek little bitch.
please touch my-doc🥺👉👈I thought for sure, for sure this was bullshit. For sure Linux doesn’t have a touch command. What could it possibly do.?
Changing timestamps and creating empty files…
Of course, that makes so much sense. 🤔
It does make sense! When you modify a file, you do “things” on it, you write it. So the minimum you can possibly do to a file to modify it, is “to poke it”: to touch it.
I mean I’m sure that’s the logic or something but…
Man it just feels wrong. Like the sonic hedgehog gene feels wrong. You know?
Hahahha, I just learnt about that gene a little while ago and thought the same: that’s an stupid name for a gene. How would you name them? (the gene and the command)
Imagine being a doctor telling a couple their fetus died because of a sonic hedgehog gene mutation, tho. (This does happen)
Like, it won’t matter in another few hundred years, but culture is difficult right now.
Makes me wonder if the romans did meme shit like that. They graffiti shitposted and whatever so…
Luckily nobody asks me what I would name shit because my pets are testament to my complete lack of creativity. 😊
I would call the gene
fingerer
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I prefer to use
kudasai… but as some may already know, it should be at the end of thesentencecommand 😅, so I added a custom hook to my ZSH config to make it run commands aspacman -Syu kudasai.Essentially you can add any type of string matching in the function. Add this to the end of your
.zshrcfile:function kudasai_preexec() { # Check if the last word is ' kudasai' if [[ $1 == *" kudasai" ]]; then # Remove ' kudasai' and prepend 'sudo' cmd=${1%" kudasai"} eval "sudo $cmd" # Prevent the original command from running return 1 fi } # Register the preexec hook autoload -Uz add-zsh-hook add-zsh-hook preexec kudasai_preexecWhy does it compare against
$1for the string match? Wouldn’tkudasaibe at the end of something like$*?damn, this is some next level shit
can_you_kinda_sorta_maybe_im_not_sure
please killallI see…
Make sure to combine it with
Disallow /harm/to/humans
I actually like this lmao
This from the OS that made me have to do a search for “how to kill children”.
wasn’t that Windows?
don’t make me watch the task manager video again …
what task manager video?
Plz for faster typing
Yeah, I’ve used
plsmyself
Bitch would be better
Bitch Please
“Bitch I said”
please !!‘Aurenkin’ is not in the pleasers file. This incident will be reported.
“Would you Kindly …”
